Being an odd collection of fossils that seem to have attributes not previously known to science, the most peculiar of which, strange as it may seem, is ‘attitude’. Known to their finder by the odd soubriquet, ‘angry ammonites’.
According to the report of the esteemed palaeontologist, Mr Henry Bottomly1, these fossils of the Ammonite persuasion2 were not so much excavated, as liberated.
He was digging in a disused quarry just outside Stoke Trister, in Somersetshire, August 1922, when he came upon a strata rich in fossil remains. Having filled his specimen bag, and not having any pockets3 he placed these items in his lunch pail. He records the following in his specimen book:
‘It being hot, and the sun somewhat fierce, I did not avail myself of the mutton stew Cook had prepared for me and placed in a vacuum flask. I decided instead to find shade and eat an apple. Having a full specimen bag and wishing to examine more closely these five strange ammonites, I placed them in my lunch pail. Wrapped in a napkin, they nestled at the bottom along with the aforesaid flask. Unfortunately the stones beneath my feet were inordinately hot, and stepping upon a sharp shard, I stumbled and dropped the pail. Being lidded nothing came out, but I heard a glutinous tinkle, which indicated to me the flask was broken. My only thought was how to explain this to Cook, as it was the third breakage this season.
However, when reaching shade, I opened the pail to see the damage. All inside was covered in a rich mutton broth, too hot to be touched, so I retired home.
In the cool of my laboratory, I opened the now somewhat odoriferous container, and rinsed the contents in hot soapy water to clear the grease.
During my detailed examination under some magnification I thought that one or more of these peculiar objects seemed to move in my hand. This was disconcerting to say the least, as they appeared in every respect to be stone, and they had been taken directly from a strata of rock hundreds of millions of years old. They looked unlike anything I had ever seen, and if one was not a scientist I would say they had the most amazing anthropomorphic details.
Locking them in my desk drawer I retired to my study to look up reports of any other such finds in my collection of society and other relevant journals.
Sunday
Desk drawer still locked, but the whole of the bottom seems to have been torn or eaten away. No sign of the ammonites, and I have Prof ‘B’ coming over tomorrow to give me his opinion of them.Monday
Still no sign of the things. Have questioned all the servants, no indication of entry to the laboratory, never happened before.
Prof ‘B’ said I must have had a ‘touch of the sun’! But no one can dispute the damage to the drawer, and from the inside out by the look of it.Tuesday
Looked everywhere, even tried the tea chests full of old shards and the like in the old store room, but no sign at all.
Most strange, inexplicable, I have been back to the quarry but nothing out of the ordinary in that strata. Perhaps old ‘B’ was right, a bit of sun.
After this there are a few references to his ‘angry ammonites’, usually when he was in a particularly agitated frame of mind, but there was never any indication that the specimens were ever recovered.
- Mr Henry Bottomly was as a dedicated naturist and a member of the Gross Deutschland Nacktkultur Club. He always worked completely nude, regardless of the surroundings, or indeed the company. He was an advocate of ‘The spirit of universal nudism’, which promoted the belief that being naked promoted healthful living, and no class envy.
He studied for a short while under Sir George Clifford, of University College London, until during his first excavation with this learned gentleman, he proceeded to disrobe before a startled audience of fellow students and bystanders at a dig in Royal Tunbridge Wells.
He then seemed to follow a solitary path of scholarship, often writing up his discoveries and sending them to the Royal Society, where they were generally well received. Unfortunately he was never asked to present his papers in person to the members and patrons of the society again after the unfortunate incident with a magic lantern, and the Princess Royal of Herzegovina.On his death in 1935 his entire collection was passed to the Royal Society. When that great edifice was bombed during the blitz of 1941 the entire palaeontology collection was either destroyed or dispersed, Mr Henry Bottomly’s being amongst it.
- Ammonites being an extinct group of marine animals of the subclass Ammonoidea in the class Cephalopoda, phylum Mollusca.
- See biography